deliajones:

This is Hulk’s tribute to some kid who died of cancer. Possibly one of the most magnificent songs in music history.

According to Hulk Hogan’s autobiography, which I personally read twice for Hulkamania-related reasons, this album was inspired by the passing of a young Hulk Hogan fan. Hulk was so moved by the boy’s death that he and Jimmy “Mouth of the South” Hart wrote the song, “Hulkster in Heaven.” The lyrics are an impossible mix of tragedy and hilarity. You’ll feel torn between emotions like someone watching Bill Murray kill his or her family with a pie cannon. In one line Hulk Hogan sincerely tells the fallen Hulkamaniac, “I used to tear my shirt, but now you’ve torn my heart.” I think even the kid’s funeral director snickered at that. This song is less appropriate than a whoopee cushion in a rape kit. If your doctor tried to explain the side effects of your chemotherapy with only a bike horn and an inflatable sheep, it would have more respect for human mortality than this.
Later in the song, the Hulkster tells the dead boy, “When the Hulkster comes to Heaven… we’ll tag up again!” which gives me hope that the afterlife is a constant battle against the spirits of sick little boys and 300-pound steroid abusers. That’s a Valhalla for every age group and skill level! Not all the songs are about death and cancer, though. Some are more tragic like “Beach Patrol,” which seems to be about Hulk Hogan sneaking up on bikini girls and showing them his boner. And even in his own lyrics, they don’t seem to like it.

Seanbaby

*now with working link!